Taking the Hit
by The WolvGambit
Summary: An accident at a crime scene leaves someone without a memory and someone else with confusing feelings
1. Chapter 1

Taking the Hit

Summary: An accident at a crime scene leaves someone without a memory and someone else with confusing feelings.

Rating: PG - 13 to start will become R to NC - 17 as the story develops

Spoilers: None, story has it's own story line.

**_A/N: Please be gentle, this is the first CSI story I've done in such a long time, but this little plot bunny wouldn't leave me alone until I wrote it down. Please let me know if you're interested in this and if I should continue to post._**

**_Disclaimer: CSI is not mine, just renting them out and will give them back promptly._**

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Chapter One

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He hated using his gun, but the man that was in the building with them was dangerous and he'd been practically forced by Brass to carry it. This man had raped both women and men, cutting their limbs off and saving them as souvenirs. He tried to get Sara to stay away, but she had completely refused. Typical. They thought that the scene was clear when he saw a shadow tracing the premises, getting closer and closer to Sara.

It was just a routine gathering for evidence, their third scene in a week; however, this last scene had him completely on edge. So on edge that the hairs on the back of his neck stand on end. Out of all the evidence they collected the finger prints they collected connected to the name Jack Ridgeborn. A man wanted in six states, now seven. Pulling his gun from his holster, he clicked it softly in his hand watching the shadow following her.

In just a few seconds, that's all it took, he saw the hammer before it hit him in the back of the head, a piercing 'thunk' and then a gunshot before he completely passed out.

"Grissom! Grissom!" Sara shouted, rushing towards the prone body of her boss. Feeling for a pulse she went to her radio and quickly called for help. "This is CSI Sidle I need an ambulance at 1364 Locust I have a CSI down and unconscious. I repeat I have a CSI down and unconscious."

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She paced backwards and forth in front of the warn couch in the emergency room waiting room. In truth she was too wired to sit down and too anxious to find out how he was.

"Miss Sidle?"

"Yes...How is he?"

"Well, he took quite a blow to the back of the head, had quite a few stitches, and he's awake. However, I feel there is a slight problem."

"Problem?" Her voice was shaky.

"He doesn't remember who he is."

With those words she almost fainted on the spot. "Can I see him?"

"Miss."

"I need to see him."

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Her shoes echoed on the floor as she walked down the hall. Other noises seemed to pale in comparison to her foot falls on the tiled floor as she made her way slowly to his room to see him behind the curtain looking lost and alone.

"Grissom?"

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They told him his name was Gil Grissom, told him his occupation, his date of birth, and the day its self. Told him where he was and what happened. Feeling the back of his head, he knew their words to be true. Doctor Tokam continuously reassured him that his memory would return, however, he was still a little skeptic about it. His musings were broken by a husky feminine voice to his left.

"Grissom?"

He was speechless. She was beautiful beyond measure dark curls spindling over her shoulders with chocolate eyes, long lush legs that snuck under jean shorts. Her purple tee shirt covered her body gracefully hugging her curves gently. He wished he knew her name, even though it seemed absurd. He didn't even know that much about himself, sure he remembered enough knowledge to continue his profession. What if he was married, he didn't see a line for a wedding ring...God this was completely confusing, and then her voice broke the fog in his mind yet again.

"Grissom? Are you alright?"

"I don't know." He replied, meeting her eyes. "Who are you?"

"I'm Sara."

The angel had a name and her name was Sara. Beautiful, sweet, Sara. I don't even know who I am, let alone who she is, why am I having these thoughts? His mind was teetering on the edge of oblivion and he didn't even have the slightest idea what was going to happen when he was released from the hospital.

"I seem to be at a loss." His eyes fell away from hers and a bland expression crossed his face. "Doctor Tokam told me that I have mild amnesia and that I should regain my memory soon. I feel so out of place, I don't even recognize my name." He shook his head lightly. "I hardly recognized you."

"It's okay, Grissom. We're all going to be here for you. Ecklie's given you a two month leave. I had to make it stink too."

"You mean there are others? Who's Ecklie?"

"Yes, there are others. Catherine, Warrick, Jim, Nick, Greg. Ecklie's your boss." She sighed and sat next to the bed in the chair provided. "We're here for you, Griss."

"I haven't heard anything else from the Doctor, when am I to get out of here?"

"He told me that you'd be here overnight for evaluation, and then you can go home first thing in the morning if there are no complications. He hopes that being in familiar surroundings will help you to regain your memory."

Gil gave a brief nod and connected eyes with her once again, feeling a pang of sadness clutch his heart. He wondered about their relationship, what was between them, but he didn't want to be too forward about asking questions like that. However, he couldn't help the nagging feeling in the back of his mind that there was something much deeper between them. Something beyond all reason, even without the aid of his memory.

Sara was trying to be calm on the outside, but inside she was a wreck. What if he never regained his memory, what if, what if, what if? She had so many what if's running around in her brain that she couldn't categorize them all if she tried. Her mind was JELLO and the thoughts that raged inside disturbing. In this moment he'd looked at her like he used to, back in those college days when they were just starting out their relationship and it made her knees weak. That lonely sweet expression that had been slowly fading through the years and only appeared when he thought she wasn't looking. Now he was looking at her the way he used to it and it had captured her off guard.

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Sara didn't want to leave him, but the nurse told her that she had to go. The look on his face was of pure defeat, that long ago look that she'd come to recognize as confusion to the third power. Usually that look was often directed at her.

When she returned to her apartment, she had calls from everyone asking about him and she replied to the best of her knowledge. After over two hours on the phone she finally zonked out in the most unlikely of places, her couch. Too tired to argue with her body's need for sleep and too tired to care where it happened to take place.


	2. Chapter 2

**_Okay, here's chapter 2 and once I get finished five I'll post chapter 3, thanks for the kind reviews. I hope that you like this, keep in mind thag Grissom might be a little OCC after all he has no memory. That and it's been a while for me. _**

**_Disclaimer: CSI is not mine, sad ain' it?_**

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Chapter Two

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During the day he'd met the other people that Sara had mentioned to him. Catherine Willows, Jim Brass, Nick Stokes, Warrick Brown, and Greg Sanders. They all were worried about him and asked him how he was doing. Truth be told he was overwhelmed and wanting to only see one person and she wasn't anywhere to be seen. Finally he looked between them and asked the question he'd been wanting to ask since they all entered the personal room he'd been given during the night.

"Where's Sara?"

"She's probably sleeping, Gil." Answered the strawberry blonde, Catherine. "She doesn't sleep much, hasn't slept much for a long time."

"Do you know why?"

"None of us really do, although, it's probably something to do with hours or the case work. She's particularly private when it comes to anything personal." Nick added softly.

A once nod was all they received in return for their efforts. "When do you think she'll be by?"

"We don't know." Warrick commented. "But we can call her on our way out if you really want to see her."

"Thank you."

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Sara was in between the land of sleep and awake when a strange noise brought her out of her trance. Blinking rapidly she finally found the object of her current irritation and flipped it open.

"Sidle."

"Sara, it's Nick. Grissom's asking for you."

"Is he alright?"

"From what we could tell, besides the memory loss and the stitches. He's just wondering where you are, we told him one of us would call you to tell you and I drew the short straw." He laughed after the last part.

"Thanks, Nicky. I'm going to try and look like a normal person and then go see him before he's discharged. Talk to you soon and don't work to hard."

"Gotcha, take it easy."

The line then clicked as she flipped her phone closed and headed for the bathroom. She decided she looked like shit as she stripped her clothes and started the shower up to warm it. Pulling a towel down from the shelf next to the door, she folded it over the shower and checked the temperature. The constant what if's were still nagging in the back of her mind and try as she might she couldn't push them aside. It made her all too aware of the problem at hand and she remembered the night all too vividly.

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**There were foot falls behind her, slow and steady; her hand was on her gun ready to draw if necessary. She knew someone had been following her, but she dare not look back. The scent that trailed was way too strong, the cologne chocking her as she tried to contain her gag. **

**Still she continued as usual, giving nothing away, collecting evidence and putting it into bags, the foot falls growing steadily closer, her heart racing in her ears as the blood pumped furiously. Her free hand went to her gun once more as then she heard running foot falls getting closer.**

**"SARA, NO!" CRACK **

**Two gun fires later and there was a second thud to the ground, the man in question shot dead and Grissom flat beside her unconscious. Her flashlight revealed a nasty contusion on the back of his head weeping blood and her tongue got stuck in her throat as her mouth went completely dry. Checking for a pulse and finding a rapid one she quickly shook her head and called an ambulance. **

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The tears she tried to keep at bay, finally fell from her eyes and down the drain with the rest of the water as she placed a hand on the wall to steady herself. He had risked his life to save her and now he didn't even remember her. Soap fell into her eyes and she welcomed the sting, maybe it'd take away some of the pain in her heart.

Finally managing to turn off the water and step out, her eyes still a little red from crying, she managed putting on some light make up to hide the swelling and make her way towards her bedroom. She chose some casual wear, some jeans and a tee shirt and tossed her hair up into a sloppy bun. Skipping breakfast, since she was too nauseous to eat, she grabbed her keys and made it to her vehicle.

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It was close to one and the doctors kept filing in and out checking his stats and making sure that there was no excess bleeding. In truth, he was getting tired of being hovered around and almost lost his temper several times. Except for the memory loss, he was perfectly healthy and completely aware of his surroundings. He just hoped that they'd spring him soon, and maybe Sara would be the one to take him home since he didn't even know where that was.

He sighed once more and looked at the door, willing her to materialize before his eyes and end his suffering. Gil just wanted to go home where ever that may be. He hoped, in actuality, that he shared his home with her. However, he didn't see a wedding band on her hand neither. _What am I doing? I need to stop this before people start thinking I'm crazy. But am I really, I have no memory and if it never returns…damnit. _

That's when he heard a gentle pattern of foot falls steadily coming towards his room. He geared himself up hoping that it was her, praying that it was her.

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After a ten minute argument with the desk nurse, she was finally able to go see him. She knew that they were just doing their job, but it was getting aggravating trying to get in and out of this place with her mind intact. Making her way down the hall, she felt like she was in a ghost town. It was a lot for her mind to process and she was still trying to see if she could will herself away from what could only be categorized as a horrible nightmare.

Looking through the open door she saw him looking straight at her and then a slow smile spread across his face.

"Please tell me that you've finally come to get me out of here." Was his hurried and anxious statement. "They've been hovering around me all morning like flies to garbage."

And that was her first smile since the incident. Leave it to Grissom, even without his memory, to use a bug reference.

"They tell me you are good to go, I just have to sign a few forms. For some unknown reason I'm listed as a primary." Shaking her head at it she looked at him. "I'll have to sign you out at the front desk then you can go home."

"When did they tell you this?"

"Last night before I left and then again this morning as I came up to see you. It's strange really."

"Why? It seems like a logical choice to me." He scratched the top of his head in confusion. "I mean, I must have put a lot of trust in you to do that."

"Our relationship was strained at best, Griss."

"One of the reasons why you don't call me by my first name?" Was his curious inquiry.

"I'm your employee." She sighed and their encounter was cut brief by the arrival of a nurse with papers.

"Are you Miss Sidle?"

"Yes." Sara answered grimly.

"Well there are a few things here for you to sign and then Mr. Grissom is free to go home. I trust that you won't let him out of your sight?"

Sara looked at her dumbfounded. "I'm sorry?"

"Well, in all memory loss cases there must be someone who he knows extremely well around at all times to make sure that he has some familiarity. Since you're listed as his medical proxy, I'd assume it would be you." The nurse held out the clip board.

"In all honesty, he'd never discussed any of this with me." She sighed quietly as she took the clip board from the nurse. "I'll do my best, however."

"As you know with all head injuries…" The nurse began to list off the procedures and proper care as Gil sat and watched, dumbfounded. Those little tidbits of information that had managed to slip past and into his ears alarmed him. She was his medical proxy, but didn't even know? How in the world did that happen? Did he do it and forget to tell her? What was his motive? Something wasn't right and he intended to figure it out, memory be damned.

"As for the sutures, just check for swelling, redness, tenderness, abnormal oozing and puss." Ripping the sheets, she handed a copy to Sara and kept the hospital copy for their records. "I'll be back with Mr. Grissom's personals and you may be on your way in as little as fifteen minutes."

With a once nod, the nurse left and she turned back to Grissom with a contemplative expression. "I honestly have no idea what is going to go on with in the next few days."

"I wish I could tell you, Sara, but I'm just as lost as you are." He took her hand and the action startled her. "However, please forgive my forwardness; I hope that where ever this takes me it can be with you."

"Don't, Griss. Don't say things like that."

"Why? It's how I feel and I shouldn't be inclined to say otherwise." He shuffled to get more comfortable. "I can't deny that there is something utterly strange about my previous behaviors. You're my medical proxy, yet you didn't know. You act as if we've been detached for some time, you don't know how to react to certain characteristics in my personality. You tell me that our relationship was 'strained'."

"It was strained, Grissom. Very strained, we're friends, colleagues, but there has been no attempt to strengthen that bond. I work for you." She sighed. "It's not easy, and it'd be best just to leave this discussion for another time when you're head doesn't have a stitched hole in it."

"I hope you know that this isn't over, I need to know what is going on."

"Well, first we need to get you home, and then you need to know more about yourself and everyone else."

"More about you as well, I sincerely hope."

Her eyes bugged out of her head at that statement and she just looked at him perplexed.

"What? Sara, you looked more confused than I do at the moment and I'm the one without a memory."

"Never mind."


	3. Chapter 3

**_And here's one last chapter for you, I don't want to jinx myself. So enjoy this treat and hopefully I'll have another update promptly._**

**_Disclaimer: I shoved Grissom in the closet, weee!_**

**_Grissom: Nice coat._**

**_"Quiet you."_**

**_I do not own CSI_**

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Chapter Three

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It had taken at least a grand total of forty minutes to get Grissom checked out and into the Denali. Now they were headed for his town house, which she was surprised she still remembered the directions to, and he was sitting there drumming his fingers quietly on the door frame obviously lost in thought. She wondered what he was thinking about. Especially since his comments in the doctors office before their departure.

Was this the Gil Grissom hidden beneath all the work and madness of the lab? Was this the passionate man beneath all the quotes and candor? She could only assume so, with his memories stripped bare, he was his most basic parts. No longer using the lab as a defense, nor his job, or his age. It was refreshing in a scary sort of way and it was starting to gnaw at her in the most raw of places. Especially since his last comment about 'not knowing what to do about this'.

After a few more moments of quiet reflection, she pulled her vehicle along side his in the parking lot and started to make her way out. "Well here we are, home sweet home."

"Very nice." He stated softly following her up to the front door, watching her pull his keys from her purse.

"Now I've only been here once, so I don't really know where everything is so we'll just have to explore this together and find out."

"Only once?" Was his quiet response to her statement as they crossed the threshold into his living room. He turned as he heard the key ring clunk into a dish next to the door as she shut it soundlessly.

"Well welcome to your bachelor pad."

"I'm not married then." It was more of a statement than a question.

"No, you're Dr. Gilbert Grissom, Entomologist extraordinaire working for the Las Vegas Crime Lab as head of the night shift." She let the title float off her tongue with mirth.

"It just sounds so empty to me; I'm this famous man…well sort of. I work at the top lab in the country, and my town house is practically empty with no woman to speak of. Tell me my dear Sara; is this who I really am?" He slunk into the couch with his hands covering his face. "I mean, I'm pretty sure I must have enjoyed my life to some extent, but it just seems lonely."

"Well, Grissom you enjoy your privacy." She sighed. "Look, I really don't think that I'm cut out to do this. Maybe Catherine or Jim should."

"No, Sara." He looked at her desperately. "I'm sorry. I really should keep my inner musings to myself sometimes. It's just; I'm completely and utterly confused as to why I'm an almost fifty year old bachelor."

"I couldn't tell you." Gil read her face and instantly knew there was something more to the story than what she was letting on.

"Your face says different."

"Leave it alone." She stated firmly. "It's a road I don't want to cross."

"Did I do something to you? Were we a couple?"

"Grissom, I said just leave it alone."

His shoulders slumped. "I shall obey your wish, for now. But sooner or later, Sara you're going to have to give me some answers. I need to know about my life."

After a few more minutes of looking around the living room, he made his way down to the kitchen and dining area, scanning the contents of the fridge, relearning where all the silver wear and dishes were…then he made his trek around finding the bathroom, an office, the master bedroom, master bath, and a guest room. It still crossed his mind that he had all this space and no one to share it with.

"I should go, I'll get someone, a nurse, to stay with you." She stated hurriedly.

"The nurse in the hospital said it should be someone familiar to me." He replied with a small strained sigh. "What have I done so horrible to you? I'm sure that whatever I've done or haven't done that I can make up for now. If I couldn't be honest with you before, I can now."

"That's what scares me." She mumbled quietly.


	4. Chapter 4

**_Disclaimer: _****_I do not own CSI_**

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Chapter Four

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She'd thought about bailing continuously on the drive back to her apartment. Thought seriously about calling Jim and telling him to take over for her. Especially because he was Gil's best friend and she felt like he should've been his medical proxy instead of her. It never fails, just when she was starting to get her life sorted out, there was a bombshell dropped on her.

After she'd packed a bag with a weeks worth of clothes in it, she flipped her phone open and shut several times debating the issue on whether or not to call Brass. Finally, she mustered the rest of her courage and picked up her bag, locked her apartment, and got into her Denali to make the twenty minute drive back to his town house. It was going to be a long week.

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He didn't want her to leave, but she had to go get some clothes from her apartment. He certainly didn't have anything here for her to wear. All the while he had nervous energy. Gil had tidied the place up, putting books back where they belonged, once he'd figured out his alphabetizing system, neatly stacked his magazines, made up the guest room, vacuumed the living room, washed the dishes, and several other chores that had been lacking.

Finally he had resorted to pacing in front of the dining room table, just waiting for the door to open and her to make her presence known. He had seen the apprehension on her face when he'd asked her to stay, practically begged her. Gil had half expected her to call someone else and it would be one of them coming though the door instead of her. In all seriousness he couldn't actually remember feeling so alive; at least that's what his body told him.

She made things seem so much brighter. Something that caught his attention earlier, was when he was cleaning out his night stand of old paperwork and outdated Forensics Monthly, was a worn picture he must've been using as a book mark. It was fairly old, he could tell by how young she looked, and he was smiling along with her. It was taken at a carnival or fair, and from the look on both faces they were happy and content. There was definitely something she wasn't telling him about 'them' and he hoped to get to the bottom of it.

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Turning the key in the lock, she was completely and totally nervous. She half expected him to jump her as soon as she walked in, but as she made her way across the threshold for the second time that night, she noticed him pacing downstairs. The pacing in itself was typical Grissom in thought; however, the quickness suggested anxiousness and something else she couldn't quite place. Placing the keys in the dish again with the resounding clunk, she watched as his head swiftly turned to meet hers and that slow smile crossed his lips again.

"I had expected you to call someone else." He stated grimly, and then perked up again. "I'm glad that you decided against it."

"It's just for the week until your head is healed." She said softly, making her way down the stairs towards him. "It wouldn't be right for me to stay."

"Sara."

"No, Griss. It wouldn't be. You need to get back into your routine which doesn't include me. You need to get back to your books and you're career- - "

He cut her off, holding up a picture that froze her in her tracks. "I found this in the nightstand. It was being used as a book mark in forensics journals. I can only assume you have a copy as well?"

"No, I've never seen this picture." She shook her head taking it. "I don't even remember it being taken."

"So you admit that we were together at one point?"

"Why are you so adamant about this?"

"I just want to know, it's a legitimate question. Don't you think?" His body straightened. "In all honesty, I don't know how I used to act when we were in the same premises. But why would I have something like this tucked away if I didn't think about you?"

"I…I…" She stammered unable to come up with a thought. She dropped the picture at his feet and turned away from him slowly making her way to the guest room and shutting the door behind her.

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He was rooted to the spot, looking at the picture she had let slip through her fingers that now lay face up and upside down at his feet. It just didn't make sense, she knew very little about his personal thoughts. He'd kept a picture with them in it as a constant reminder, he'd found some journal filled with what looked like the beginnings of several letters dated years ago. Gil wondered why on earth that she never knew these things and why she had reacted the way that she did. Leaning down he picked up the glossy worn photo and held it in his hands, turning it right side up to look at them once more. Her hair was a bit shorter, some of the lines in her face gone, but the purely perfect aura of her smile caused his heart to flutter. If only he could remember.

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Sara struggled with the urge to call someone else again as she flipped the phone open and shut in her grasp. She knew he didn't have any memory, knew that there were going to be some questions, but she wasn't at all prepared for the questions that he was asking her. Not prepared at all.

Seeing that personal item that he held in front of her felt like a slap in the face. It made tears sting in her eyes to think that he used to think of her, but he never said anything. How the loss of a memory could bring out the Grissom below the façade of work and morals. This man was obviously trying to find out the puzzle, much like his counter part, but in a totally different way. Why was this so hard? It was because he didn't remember anything and if and when he regained his memory she didn't want him to regret his actions and go back into his shell. She couldn't take that if it happened.

Grissom with no memory was a dangerous thing, she was finding out more about him in a couple hours than she had in the past six or so years. She hoped that he didn't bring out anything else to her attention or she didn't know how long it would be before she totally broke down.

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It felt odd in a way that cooking seemed so natural to him. He tossed a salad, grilled up some salmon that was still in his fridge, the sell by current. In all honesty, he hoped that she'd come out to eat. If her fatigue was any indication, he knew she wasn't eating well. Taking a deep breath, he took a brief smell of his work and found it fit to eat, making his stomach growl and mouth water. Turning off the heat, he placed the salmon on a glass dish that he had found earlier and poured some of the thickened sauce he had made over the top.

Gil felt a little bit uneasy about going to find her, especially since she hadn't come out since the picture incident over an hour ago. In all honesty, he couldn't understand why he would ever turn away such a beautiful and wondrous woman. He was going to make the best of this, hopefully persuade her to stay. He desperately wanted her company, but first he'd start with dinner and then work his way up.


	5. Chapter 5

**_Disclaimer: _****_I do not own CSI_**

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Chapter 5

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Whatever he was cooking smelled wonderful and her stomach growled as soon as the mixture of scents hit her nose. His counterpart never ceased to surprise her with the things he still knew how to do. She was glad for that because she really couldn't cook all that well, resorting in various visits to the diner and call in take out orders. Even though it smelled good, Sara didn't want to leave the room because she didn't want any more questions from him concerning their relationship. It was hard enough that he had no memory, what would be worse would be explaining their partial relationship.

Her musings were cut short by a soft knock on the door and a knob turning. "I thought you might be hungry, so I cooked us something."

All she could do was nod at the distinguished figure of him dressed in a light blue polo shirt and black dress paints with a towel flung neatly over his shoulder. "It smells good."

"I guess cooking was one of my gracious talents, good thing too." He smiled gently. "I hope you like salmon."

"Sounds wonderful."

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The meal was relatively quiet as they had moved from the dining room into the living room to watch television. It was interesting how their viewing went so easily from COPS to a National Geographic special on rainforest insects. Her second smile as she watched a beautifully colored butterfly dance across the screen from flower to flower.

"They're so colorful and majestic; dazzling and graceful. Reminds me of someone." Came his soft baritone beside her.

"Shh…" She stated. "Please."

Her reaction startled him; it felt natural and right sitting there with her, her smile lighting up her face. He honestly wished he could remember what he had done so wrong to her so he could make it right.

Getting up, the couch slightly groaning, he picked up their dishes and started to make his way towards the kitchen as she tried to get up with him. "No, no. You just sit and enjoy. I'm going to take care of these and I'll be right back. You want another soda?"

"Seriously, Grissom I can get it." She stated quickly. "Besides, you shouldn't be on your feet too much at a time."

"Sara, I'm fine. Other than a few bumps and bruises and of course no memory, I'm fine."

"I don't think a stitched hole in your head qualifies as fine."

"Stop fussing over me. I'm okay. I feel like I'm back in that doctors office again." He smiled softly. "Ten minutes tops and I'll be right back."

"Griss - -"

"Stay put."

She watched him as he made his way down stairs with a fluidity that betrayed the fact that he had been hit with a hammer and had a split skull close to 24 hours ago. It didn't stop her from being worried about him, there were soon to be other symptoms from his head injury and they sometimes didn't show up very quickly. It differs from person to person.

What was ten minutes turned into fifteen and then twenty. Finally she got tired of waiting and turned around to see him huddled over the sink, clutching it tightly. She rushed down quickly to his side and saw his knuckles turning solid white as his grip increased.

"Griss?"

"I-I'm dizzy." He stated through clenched teeth. "And m-my head feels like it's sp-splitting in t-two."

"I told you not to overdo it." She sighed lightly and pulled one of his arms over her shoulder, supporting half his weight. "Come on, let's get you to bed."

"I don't know if I can."

"Hold on to me and lean on walls if you have to, but we're going down the hall. You've been doing way too much."

"I-I'm s-sorry." He stuttered, clutching at the door frame going into the hall.

"It's not your fault, you just found your limit is all."

"I should have listened to you." He stated thickly as they made their way down the hall towards his room. "I have a habit of not doing that don't I?"

"Let's not get into this now, you need to rest." Sara responded as he got adjusted on the bed. "Comfortable?"

"As I can be." Gil grunted.

"The doctor gave you some pain medication to take, I'll go get you some and a glass of water. Be right back."

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He watched her exit the room, much to his dismay, and placed a hand on his forehead willing the pain to stop. They were doing so well until he had to blow it by overstepping his limits and not listening to her warnings. Finally she returned with said medication and water placing the two tiny pills in his palm as he swallowed them dry, chasing them with the water in two quick gulps.

"Thank you." He smiled lightly.

"You're welcome." She returned his smile and started to remove his shoes. "Time for bed."

"Stay with me."

She dropped the shoe to the floor with a semi-loud 'thunk' and looked up at him with a look that resembled a deer caught in headlights.

"Wh-wh-what?" She managed to choke out.

"Stay with me, please."

"I don't think that's a good idea." Sara remarked calmly, removing the other shoe with more grace this time.

"Please, I don't want to be alone."

Her head shook from side to side, the wispy dark curls falling across her face. "No."

"Sara - -"

"No, I'll be down the hall if you need me." She pulled the covers over him and walked towards the door. "I'm calling Jim tomorrow, I can't stay here."

His eyes widened in dismay as he watched her walk away from him. He willed her to turn around, but she didn't.

"Why?" He managed to croak out.

"It's not your concern. Get some sleep, you need it."


	6. Chapter 6

**_Disclaimer: _****_I do not own CSI_**

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Chapter 6

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He laid there, staring at the red LED display of numbers finding the time passing even more slowly than before. It read 12:00 a.m. Gil sighed for what seemed to be the 15th time in the past hour willing himself to sleep, but he wasn't able to knowing that she was going to get someone else to be with him.

After a few more minutes, staring at the clock, he got up slowly and made his way down the hall towards her room. She was crunched on the bed to the left side, her arm under her pillow and her knees tucked up towards her chest. It didn't matter; he still thought she was beautiful, even more so asleep. Her burdens gone, the anguish and pain left her face. From the looks of her eyes, in the semi-darkness of the room, it looked as if she had been crying. He wondered why.

Creeping towards the other side of the bed, he slowly sank into it and moved behind her, molding into the warmth she provided and gently placed right arm over her hip, cuddling her closer. She shifted slightly with a groan and he paused holding his breath hoping he didn't wake her; finally she settled back down and shuffled back into the warmth he provided. Sated and comfortable, he finally was able to sleep.

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The first thing she felt when she started to wake was the incredible warmth that surrounded her and how her back didn't ache as much as it usually did when she got up. The second thing she noticed was a heavy, but not uncomfortable, bulk against her back. A lightly snoring bulk.

_Oh shit, oh shit, oh shit…_

She slowly turned over to meet the sleeping form of her memory drained boss sleeping in the same bed as she was and held her breath. This was so not happening. Sara remembered going to bed alone, leaving him in his room down the hall and curling up in her own room and going into a fitful sleep. She didn't even know he had come into her room. For the first time in a while she was glad that she returned to work that night so that she could clear her head. She was so lost in thought that she didn't realize he was awake and looking at her until he heard his voice.

"Good morning." He rumbled thickly, his voice husky and low.

She jumped back and he pulled her towards him. "Easy."

"What are you doing in here?" She hissed.

"I couldn't sleep." He blushed, the rosy tint made him look very sexy. She could say that she'd never seen Grissom blush so deeply. Shaking her head she started to try to worm her way out of his arms but to no avail.

"You should go."

"Why?" He furrowed his brows in a classic 'confused Grissom' look. "I figured we could talk for a little while and then have breakfast."

"We can talk while we have breakfast."

"I know better, you won't want to talk." He stated smugly.

"Grissom."

"And that's getting rather annoying too." Her eyes widened as he pulled her closer. She struggled, but not too hard she didn't want to cause him any other injuries other than the ones he had. "I have a first name you know."

"This isn't personal."

"It is. As much of a memory that I don't have, I know somewhere inside of me that there is more to 'us'…" He gestured between them. "…than what you're telling me. You avoid me, you don't want to talk to me about any of it - -"

"Some things are meant to be that way."

"Not to me, out of every body else…I seem to have the strongest connection with you. I've talked to Jim and the others. I called them yesterday after the photo incident. Learned about my relationships with them, what I've done…but none of them know our back story, honey." His grip tightened. "I learned I sent a plant to you from Catherine, I said some things I shouldn't have from Jim, you're a vegetarian from Nick, and a few things about my avoidance from Greg. As for personal details, nothing."

Gil placed a hand under her chin and lifted her face up to meet his deep blue gaze. His breath warm against her lips as he leaned down. "I have no idea what I've done in the past…" He whispered gently. "But I swear to you, I must've felt something for you and I'll spend the rest of my life making it up to you."

"And once you get your memories back you'll have regrets."

"I couldn't…I wouldn't."

"Yes, you could, and you would." She shook her head. "I know you too well, Grissom. I was standing outside the interrogation room when you told the man who risked his career for a younger woman that you couldn't do it. You couldn't risk your career, and I knew you meant me."

"Please don't hold that against me, Sara. I know nothing about it. All I know is what I've found in my room and my office. I know that I felt something very deep for you, deeper than anything you've ever known. Just because I couldn't express it then, doesn't mean that I can't now."

She pulled away from him. "I can't do this, I can't risk…"

He moved to the edge of the bed as she stood. "I swear to you…"

"Don't make promises that you can't keep."

And that's when he kissed her…


	7. Chapter 7

_This will be the last chapter for just a little bit until I get up to 15 written. I do not know how long I intend for this fic to be and I am glad for the positive response it's getting. Don't worry, it's far from over, there is a lot more to come._

_Disclaimer: CSI is not mine..._

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Chapter 7

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He didn't know where the sudden burst of courage came from, it was best not to think about it. The only pressing issues at the current moment in time was how soft her lips felt against his and that quiet whimpering moan that escaped her lips as her fingers fisted the front of his pajama top. It was the only thing he could think of to shut her up and it was only meant to be quick, but with her struggling against him, pounding his chest, he could only pull her in deeper and get lost in the sensations himself.

Gil found himself tumbling in passion and felt his body grow hot as her hands traced his shoulders and gripping his back, pulling his body closer to hers. He honestly tried to slow down, but he found it impossible with her fingers sliding along his shoulder blades and down his spine resulting in tingles throughout his body and another part rising to the occasion.

Pulling back, he bit back a moan as her teeth gently latched to his bottom lip and her whispered words caught his ear. A gentle pleading as she threaded her fingers back into his shirt and tried to pull him forward again.

"Sara, please…I."

"Gil…"

His name, his first name, from her lips was almost his undoing. However, he wanted to tread carefully, especially with his memory addled brain. One minute she was pushing him away and now she was trying to crawl inside of him. God he was on fire and she was passion unrestrained. How did he ever let her slip through his grasp, he admitted that his former self was a fool for not noticing her like he should have.

"Sara…"

"Please."

"I…"

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His lips were hot, liquid fire, and oh so soft. They were moving slowly, stimulatingly, gently and skillfully. She couldn't even remember what they were talking about, let alone arguing about. All she could feel, taste, and touch was pure unadulterated Grissom. She remembered, vaguely, pounding on his chest, grunting angrily, but that all faded away in one full plunge. She changed her stance from pushing to clinging, hearing a moan that she didn't know where it came from.

Closer, wanting to be closer, her body screaming closer as she pulled him tighter by his shoulders, his arousal insistent and begging underneath her thigh as she was awkwardly placed along his lap. She felt his groan before she heard it as he started to pull away, his breath coming in gasps as well as her own. Sara, unwilling to give up, tried desperately to pull him back in, forgetting everything except the passion.

"Sara, please…I…"

"Gil…" Was all she could think to say, barely thinking at that, as she took his bottom lip between her teeth and gently nipped and suckled. His groan was restrained in the back of his throat.

"Sara…"

"Please…"

"I…"

"Don't stop…"

"Sara, we can't. Not yet…" And those words felt like ice water had just been splashed on her, cooling her to the core and chilling her to the bone.

She eyed him, her body going rigid as she disentangled herself from his grasp; the reality of the situation sinking in like she had been hit with a ton of bricks. Things were moving too fast, one touch and she'd been lost; just that one kiss had been enough to undo her. It confirmed her earlier thoughts that Grissom without a memory was, indeed, very dangerous. It was time for her to get out, and fast.

"You're right, I'm sorry…" She whispered low and turned to face away from him. "I'm going to call Jim, I shouldn't be here."

"Please, I went too far. It's my fault." He sighed and turned her to face him. "I'm still trying to find out a lot of things and you're beautiful when you're upset and I lost control of myself."

"That's just it, Griss. You don't loose control and what if you totally do and I can't get my mind clear enough to stop you? It's not fair to either of us. You can't remember who you are, what our relationship was like…"

He placed a finger to her lips and she was confused at the gesture. "We need to work this out, this is between us."

"You can't expect me to stay here, not after what happened." Sara huffed, pushing his hand away.

"You can trust me, Sara."

"It's not you I'm worried about." She muttered.

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He wasn't sure what to feel after her quiet admission no more than ten minutes ago before she padded to the bathroom leaving him on the bed to think. There were so many questions running through his mind that he felt like one of those targets that moved backwards and forth at the fair that you shot at.

There were still things that he couldn't comprehend. He was a loner and a bachelor at 48 years old when he could be married to the woman that was now in his guest bathroom, and again she was going to try and leave him.

Finally, he heard the click of the door and looked up to see her emerge and walk towards him placing her cell phone on the end table.

"I've already made the arrangements, Jim said he'd take over for the next couple of days."

"But…"

"There are no buts about it, I can't do this."

"Can't, or won't?" He arched his eyebrow in a challenge. "What are you afraid of?"

"Why aren't you afraid?"

"I feel as though I've been running my whole life, that's the distinct impression I get about me and you. And instead of running, I should've been embracing what you were offering me."

"Look, what's done is done."

"I can easily tell Brass and undo it."

"Grissom, don't make this harder than it is."

"Why can't you just accept what I feel for you, just because I don't have my memory doesn't mean that what I feel isn't genuine." He sighed and gently clasped her hand in his. "I love you without knowing how, or when, or from where …"

"Don't…."

"I love you straightforwardly, without complexities or pride…"(1)

"Griss, no." She shook her head. "You can't."

"I think I know the limits of myself, Sara. I can and I do. It's there like the blood in my veins and the beating of my heart. We may even have to factor in that I may never regain my memory. I wish you wouldn't harbor the past and just move forward with me."

"It takes time, Grissom. It's been what, not even two days since you lost your memory and you're asking me to do this? You can't expect me to forget everything and just move on. If you're memory doesn't return within the next two months then I'll consider it, but we're going to go slow."

"That's all I'm asking for, Sara." He smiled.

"But Brass is coming over tonight anyway; it's his night off, because I have to go to work."

"But- -"

She cut him off at the pass. "Unlike you, I'm not on medical leave and I need to go in. Technically right now you can't do anything about it."

"Do you have vacation lined up?"

"With you out of the lab we're already short handed, we all have to pick up the slack."

"We need to talk more about this."

"Honestly, we've done enough talking about it."

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**_Don't worry, you have to have a little tension...trust me it's worth it. I hope you're enjoying reading as much as I'm enjoying writing. _**

**_WolvGambit_**


	8. Chapter 8

_I had a reviewer tell me that I forgot to site my source on my quote from last chapter, which I did by accident so instead of reposting the chapter, I'll site it here._

_The (1) from last chapter is from Sonnet 17 by Pablo Neruda._

_Disclaimer: CSI is not mine..._

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Chapter 8

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He watched as she left with a very grim expression on his face, his back completely towards Jim Brass, his best friend, at least to what Sara had told him.

"She's coming back, Gil."

"Sometimes I can't be too sure of that. I mean, she's told me she was going to arrange for you to stay here instead of her several times. I've been beginning to expect that one day I will wake up to find you in my guest room and her gone." He shrugged and sat down.

"You really need to give her time before you spring things on her. I'm fairly certain she told you about the Lurie incident."

"The man that gave up his career for the woman he loved?"

Jim nodded. "She was there and I didn't know what you had said until it was too late. She looked so defeated that day."

"I haven't done right by her, have I? As long as I've known her, I haven't done right by her. I was a fool." He pushed papers off the table and into the floor. "To me, right now in this moment, this career means absolutely nothing if I can't have her by my side. I'm going by what I'm feeling."

"You can't completely beat yourself up about it, you have no memory of the things that you did. She does, she is trying to make the best of this situation. She's just as confused as you are, maybe even more so. She's used to you acting and being a certain way that when you admit to things and drop them on her, it scares her."

"Did I ever mention her in a romantic way?"

"To any of us? No, Gil. You were a very private person, if you had any romantic feelings towards her, you kept them to yourself. However, every one of us suspected it in a way because of the way you looked at her, smiled at her, and sometimes talked to her. We figured if there was anything going on between you that it was to stay quiet, and we left it at that."

Gil looked down at his feet. "So I kept it from everyone, including myself how I felt. It doesn't make sense, Jim." He turned to look at him. "I mean, she's this beautiful, lively, wondrous, vivacious woman and I can look at her and tell her how I feel now…but to know that she never knew these things, it's awkward and strange."

"Just go slow, don't crowd her too much. Let her start to open up to the idea, and then she'll start to share herself with you."

"Thanks, Jim."

"That's what friends are for."

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She'd kept to herself most of the night, only answering the 'How's Grissom' questions with medical and leaving out the emotional. Her responses were usually short and to the point, avoiding any further questioning by hunkering down into her work. In honesty, she hoped she'd have to pull a double to get more time to clear her head…but it seemed like fate wasn't on her side as the case load was quite light.

"Sara, you should go be with him."

"Brass is there, he'll be fine." She looked up at Catherine then back down.

"There's nothing more to be done tonight and you can have the day off tomorrow too."

"I need to work."

"You need to help him."

"You don't understand." She sighed. "I shouldn't even be discussing this with you; it's not your business."

"I'm your supervisor until Gil gets back into the swing of things, as your friend I suggest you take the week off and try to help him as best as you can."

"Are you saying this for my benefit or your own?"

"Sara."

"No, Cath. No. Just don't go there." She walked away, punched out, and then made her way out the door fuming all the way towards her Denali.

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Sara made the drive back to his town house and immediately made her way towards the guest room noticing that Jim had been and gone, most likely called away. She heard him before she saw him and automatically went on the defensive as he started to speak.

"Not right now." Were the only words she spoke, not even looking back at him as she closed the door behind her.

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Brass had been called in for a domestic disturbance because the field was short a few officers due to vacation. Earlier, he had received a call from Catherine assuring him that Sara was on her way back and he'd felt comfortable knowing that she'd be there within a few moments. Gil smiled as she entered just five minutes after he had left, perked up completely…but her words and the way she just closed herself off in the guest room disturbed him. Placing his hand flat against the door and letting it trail down slowly, he sighed and walked away, giving her the solitude she had silently requested without words.

_I wish you'd talk to me._ Were his parting thoughts, not daring to voice them aloud.


	9. Chapter 9

_Disclaimer: CSI is not mine..._

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Chapter 9

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The rest of the week had gone rather slow, but increasingly better and less forced. She was talking more, which he was grateful for, but the sense of dread was starting to overwhelm him as he made his way back to Dr. Tokam to have his stitches checked and the extra's removed. Sure, he could've visited his regular doctor, but Tokam wanted to make sure everything was in ship shape himself. It was going to get increasingly harder to keep Sara around.

The drive towards the office was spent in comfortable silence every now and then broken by a good song or some commercials on the radio. Every now and then he'd look across the vehicle at her profile and keep a secret smile to himself at the way the light caught her features just right and it really brought the thoughts to mind that she really was an angel. If it wasn't for her, he was sure he'd probably be dead from the hole in the skull he had acquired that night.

"What, Griss? You've been staring at me for the past five minutes? Did I miss some food on my face after lunch or something?" Was her response to his appraisal.

"No."

"Then what is it?"

He blushed, even though he knew she couldn't see. "Has anyone told you how beautiful you are?"

He felt the car jerk slightly and then resettle itself. "I wish you wouldn't do that."

"What? Making true statements based on overall observation?" Was his inquiry.

"Even without a memory you make these things seem like nothing."

"So, I take it that I used to spring things on you a lot?"

"Not a lot, but just enough to throw me off balance." She caught herself. "Never mind. It's not important."

"And I wish you wouldn't do that." Came his quick reply.

"What?"

"Saying things about my overall personality and then telling me that it's not important. It is important if I'm going to figure out anything. Sure, they may have not been the best qualities, but you take one thing away it certainly wouldn't be me anymore." He shrugged. "Unless you like me better this way."

"Either way, it doesn't matter, you're still overwhelming in your own right."

"Overwhelming how?"

"We'll discuss this later, right now it's time to get your head checked."

"Oh alright, but I expect a good conversation over dinner tonight."

"We'll see."

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"Well it looks as if everything is in order Mr. Grissom. The sutures are healing nicely and after I remove these it'll be another couple weeks before you're head'll be completely healed. The skull fracture about another month or two."

Gil nodded and looked down at his feet. "I still have no memory."

"Well, just keep to your guns my friend. Keep talking to your friends, communicate, look at old photo albums. I'm sure that you're memories will return in time."

"You and me both." He sighed softly. "Is that all?"

"Yup, you're good to go my friend. However, that two month leave is still in effect. You shouldn't be up to long because of that nasty fracture. Limit the time on your feet, don't get overly stressed out, take it easy and you should be fine."

"Thank you."

"Anytime, take care."

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She decided to sit the appointment out in the waiting room, there were some things he needed to get used to doing alone, she wasn't always going to be there. It was best just to cut it soon and get back to the status quo. Sara knew that when he got his memories back it would most likely go back to the way things were and she didn't want to become attached. It would also be less painful this way.

Sara was completely stuck between what her heart wanted and her mind needed. Her heart telling her to give it time and her mind rationalizing his lack of memory. The week had been a wonderful experience but it was over and time for him to start living his life. Sure, she'd drop in once in a while to check on him, though it was best that she not stick around.

Her musing was finally brought to conclusion upon his arrival to the waiting area. "Well, I'm ship shape." He smiled brightly. "Let's go home."

She got up, then paused and looked at him. "You're going home, and I'm going back to my apartment."

"Sara - -"

She held up her hand. "Look, you and I both know that this isn't going to work. We can't be under the same roof. I don't want you doing something that you'll regret and it's too soon to get into something like this."

"I told you that you can trust me."

"After what happened five days ago, I can't trust myself." She shook her head as they continued walking through the parking garage. "I've always secretly wished for you to notice me like you do now, but I didn't want it to happen this way."

"It's still the same 'me' per-se. I just don't have our history."

"Griss, you're not the same you. Not entirely. I mean, sure you're personality is almost the same, it's just that you're more open. More expressive."

"I understand that much. Jim told me that I'd often keep things to myself."

"You did. You felt your personal life was nobody's business."

"It really isn't, but the feelings that I felt for you shouldn't have been. They aren't now."

"Can we please stop bringing this up? I keep telling you why, my apprehensions, the problem with the situation. I want to at least have the chance for your memory to come back before this goes any further."

"Fine."


	10. Chapter 10

_Disclaimer: I do not own CSI_

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Chapter 10

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He'd walked up to his town house door and watched her drive away knowing full well that he wouldn't be able to get any rest knowing that she wasn't under the same roof as he was. Sliding the key into the lock, he turned it and opened the door, stepping forward across the threshold and into his living room. He felt empty. For the first time since he woke up with amnesia, he felt empty.

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Sara immediately crashed on the couch as soon as she walked in the door. It'd been so hard to walk away from what he was offering, but she knew she couldn't risk another incident like that. Who knows what she'd do, let him do. She'd practically thrown herself at him. Six years she'd waited for him to kiss her, six years she'd waited for him to admit his feelings. Six years and it took him loosing his memory to admit what his mind wouldn't let his heart say. Sitting there in the empty living room of her apartment, knees to her chest, she felt empty. Empty and alone.

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The days started to trickle by and her visits increased from half hours to hours. She enjoyed the laughs, the movies, the poetry, the dinners. But in the end, she still wasn't sure where to go or what to do. His memory still wasn't returning, but he was living. He smiled more, he laughed more, he wasn't so serious…though he still had the knowledge and wit that he once had. He'd retained every factual detail, but couldn't remember his life. It was also becoming more difficult to say no to him. Especially with a pout that she'd never even knew he possessed.

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"Spend the night with me…" He'd thrown out into the open space of the dining room after collecting their dinner dishes from the table.

"I…can't."

"You spend most of your time here anyway, when you're not working. It would be the logical thing to do." He smiled hopefully. "I've noticed your routine these past couple of weeks. You go to work, come here right after, we have dinner, watch a movie, and then you leave to get back to your apartment. I know you don't sleep well because I don't."

She shook her head. "I seriously wish you'd stop that."

"Well, I wish you'd stop calling me by my last name." He sighed. "But you're not going to do that any time soon. Are you?"

"How many times do I have to tell you that this isn't personal."

"How many times do I have to tell you that it is?" He quirked his brow. "We practically live together, Sara. The only time you go to your apartment is to shower and sleep. You do everything else here."

"I'm here because you want my company, and I'm trying."

"You're stretching yourself thin, Sara. A couple nights a week isn't going to hurt."

In the midst of it all she started walking towards the fridge to pull out another bottle of water when she found herself cornered between him and the refrigerator door.

"Move Griss."

"No." He pressed her fuller. "I'm not hiding and neither are you."

"I'm not hiding."

"Hiding, avoiding, whatever. We're not tip toeing around this any more. I can't take it. Day in and day out, I ask you to stay and you always avoid me. This can't go on. Something has got to give. Right now I'm still a clean slate, consider it a second chance."

"And if you regain your memories and start distancing yourself?"

"Not going to happen, but if it does then I give you soul permission to bring you and your friends to kick my ass." He smiled, his blue eyes lit with mirth.

"I'll make good work of that."

"I'm sure you will."

With those words she pulled his face forward and kissed him…


	11. Chapter 11

_Disclaimer: I do not own CSI_

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Chapter 11

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His eyes went wide for a few seconds as her lips connected with his, throwing him completely off his feet and catching him totally off guard. It felt as wonderful as last time over a month ago. He'd been dreaming of kissing her ever since then and couldn't get it out of his mind. How she felt, how she tasted, the noises of pleasure she made. In some ways he felt he needed to be slapped because of how surreal the situation felt as his eyes drifted shut and he fell into the kiss, pushing her more firmly against the refrigerator door.

He groaned at the sensation of her tongue playing on his bottom lip as he opened his mouth and tangled his tongue with hers. The flavors of their dinner combined with her own sweet and salty taste drove him wild. In the back of his mind he wished that his head was completely healed because he wanted to know how her fingers would feel combing through his scalp. Twisting his mouth, he deepened the kiss further, if that was possible, and opened his mouth further gently rolling his tongue around hers.

Finally, he pulled back and placed his forehead against hers allowing them both to pull air deep into their lungs. "My God Sara…"

Her eyes met his as she wiped the smudge of lip gloss from his lips. "Mmm?"

"If I feel this good just by kissing you, I can only imagine what making love to you would feel like."

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In that single moment she'd had enough of holding back, it'd been torture and she needed an ounce, if only an ounce, of release. She was like a moth to flame as soon as her lips crashed into his and she was swimming in that abyss once again. She still felt like she was in one of her dreams, clinging to that fogginess hoping to never wake. Sara sensed his surprise at first, but then he became a willing participant in the act as his tongue collided with hers and an all out duel began.

Finally after several long and heated moments of their passionate embrace, she felt him pull back and press his forehead to hers.

"My God Sara…"

She looked into his eyes and wiped her lip gloss from his lips. "Mmm?" Was her dazed response.

"If I feel this good just by kissing you, I can only imagine what making love to you would feel like."

Caught off guard, her eyes dilated and a thousand thoughts ran through her head as she pulled him roughly towards her, engulfing his lips once more. "Ohhhh…" She moaned quietly as he dropped his lips towards her neck, suckling at the pulse point between her neck and shoulder.

"I think I should go now."

"Not yet…" She felt his breath on her neck. "Please not yet, let me enjoy this, let yourself enjoy this. I can honestly say that this is the most alive I've ever felt."

"Gil…"

"Again."

"What?" Sara pulled back perplexed.

"Say my first name, again…"

"Gil…" She said softly.

And his lips crashed against hers once more.

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After at least fifteen minutes worth of coaxing, he'd managed to get her to stay, albeit reluctantly. Promising that they'd take things slow. Gil initially felt as though he were walking on air, light as a feather, floating on a cloud. There she was, in one of his old dress shirts, waiting for him in his bed. He pinched his upper arm just to make sure he wasn't dreaming.

"Come to bed."

"Right." He stammered as he walked towards his side and clambered in. "Good night Sara."

"Night."

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She had awoke to practically the same position as before except this time his breath was heavy against the back of her neck, tickling it, and making her feel quite aroused. After so many years of dreaming, she was finally living it…though it still pulled at her heart that he still had no memory. She was trying to squelch those thoughts as he snuggled closer behind her and kissed the back of her neck.

"I know you're awake my dear, I can practically hear you thinking." She could feel his smirk.

"Ha ha." Was her retort.

"What were you thinking about honey?" He sighed. "I know what I'm thinking about."

"Well that's obvious." She pushed back against him, hearing his growl of pleasure.

"Even though I've definitely 'risen' to the occasion, that was not what I had in mind." He chuckled. "Though I wouldn't object to those indulgences Sara my sweet."

"Mmm hmmm." She turned over to look at him. "What were you thinking about?"

"How wonderful this is. You, me sharing a wonderful sunrise together basking in the warmth of each others company." He traced patterns on her hip, over the blankets, with his fingertips.

"You know, sometimes you're too much."

He quirked a brow. "Is that a good or bad thing?"

"We'll call it good, for now."


	12. Chapter 12

_Disclaimer: I do not own CSI..._

_It's nice to see the amount of reviews for this story. When I started writing it, truth be told, I didn't expect such a wide response rate. I'm glad that everyone is enjoying this. This will be the last chapter until I get up to 20 written. I'm glad you guys are enjoying the ride and pretty soon this story will be rated M. _

_WolvGambit_

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Chapter 12

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It was slowly winding down to the two month mark and he and Sara had been making amazing progress. It wasn't as quick as he would've liked, but it was progress nonetheless. He smiled to himself thinking about what had happened the night before last right before she went to work. She was amazing, and he was happy.

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Gil had gone out to pick up a few extra items for their meal and backtracked back to the dessert isle to plan something extremely special. She'd been forced to work a double and he wasn't too happy about it. Nonetheless, he decided to use the time to plan something wonderful. Standing there, he started reminiscing about all the new memories that he'd created with Sara, even though they hadn't consummated their relationship…he felt a strong bond with her that went past words or actions. Finally making his way towards the checkout, he grabbed a couple bottles of water, paid for his purchases, and headed home after packing the back of his Denali.

Throughout the drive he had a few strange thoughts…this was normal for him, but the nature wasn't. He felt like something was off that day and he never ignored his instincts. Pulling into his parking spot, he shut off the engine and started the long process of unloading all the groceries in the house. The answering machine was blipping in the background as he made his way towards the phone.

Pressing the button he listened to the computerized voice that walked through his messages. _"You have one new message Monday 2:14 p.m._

_Hi, this message is for a Gilbert Grissom. This is Connie with Dr. Roth's office; we're just calling to remind you of your last follow up appointment to make sure that your surgery went as planned and that the overall performance is satisfactory. Your last appointment is this Friday the seventeenth at four thirty p.m. in the main clinic; the address should be on the card that you were given on the time of your last appointment. If you have any questions or concerns, please feel free to call our office before your appointment at the hours between eight a.m. and ten p.m. the number is…702-634-4700 and the extension for the main office is 4586. We hope to see you soon. Again the hours are between eight a.m. and ten p.m. and our number is…702-634-4700 extension 4586. Have a wonderful day._

_Monday 2:14 p.m. End of messages." _

He replayed the message four times before sitting on the couch to take everything in. _Dr. Roth? Surgery…for what? When? _

Getting up quickly and putting the rest of the food away, he walked over to a cabinet and pulled out his thick phone book that he kept on hand just in case. Flipping to the medical section he looked for Dr. Roth and was surprised at what he saw.

**Dr. Karen Roth  
Hearing Specialist…**

_Hearing specialist? What the hell?_

XXXXXXXXXxxxxxxxxxx

Sara came in at almost seven thirty kicking off her shoes as she stepped inside the door dropping her keys in the dish beside his with her purse and cell phone on the table. She was exhausted and hoped for a long soak in the tub followed by a quiet dinner then curling up in bed and enjoying her well deserved day off.

"Gil I'm home!"

"I'm glad…" She heard a strange tone in his voice. "I need to talk to you about something."

"What's the matter?"

He made the 'come hither' gesture with his index finger on his right hand and she followed him to the phone as he played the entire message once more. "When were you going to tell me about this?"

"I didn't even know about it."

He kicked a chair and then settled into one beside it. "How could I keep something like this from you? Especially if you were my medical proxy…Damnit, the more facts that come to surface leave me so very confused and all I have is more questions which nobody seems to know the answers to."

"Maybe this Dr. Roth will."

"I hope so, for now I have us a bath waiting and dinner is in the oven."

She made a groan of approval. "Going to wash my back?"

"Yes, and I hope you don't mind the company I really want to join you."


	13. Chapter 13

_Some of the next few chapters will have excerpts from actual episodes, they may not be fully quoted right, but the context is there. I'm almost done writing this story, but I'm going to surprise you with the amount of chapters...so I'll probably be either updating one chapter every few days from now on to make it last. I'm glad that you guys are enjoying this._

_WolvGambit_

_Disclaimer: I do not own CSI...although I have Grissom as my personal slave._

_G: Here's your tea..._

_W: Needs more sugar..._

_G: Right away..._

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Chapter 13

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They were both sitting in the waiting room in Dr. Roth's office waiting for one of the nurses to call his name. He'd never been so nervous in his life not knowing what was going on or what the hell was happening. It was a giant bombshell that had been dropped rattling him to the core. He continued to squeeze Sara's hand and received her reassuring squeezes in return. It was the only thing that was keeping him grounded. Without it he was sure he wouldn't be sane at the moment.

"Mr. Grissom?"

They both walked back to a room led by Connie, the woman that had called to remind him of his appointment, as he took a seat with Sara at his side. After a few minutes they were joined by Dr. Roth and she was smiling at Gil.

"Well Gil, how are you doing? Any trouble hearing?"

"Let me clear a few things up Doctor. I have no idea what's happened to me before a month and a half ago. I still have slight amnesia so you're going to have to fill me in…what surgery did I have?"

"Amnesia? Oh my…what…?"

Sara sighed and explained the situation at the crime scene almost two months previous. After the lengthy discussion Dr. Roth started to explain Gil's condition.

"Well Gil had a procedure to correct his otosclerosis. It's a degenerative hearing condition that is often hereditary being passed on from generation to generation. Your mother had it, and you have it and we've done our level best to correct it." She rattled off.

Gil nodded taking it all in. "I must've had this procedure a while before the accident if this is my last follow up."

"Three months ago today." Roth smiled. "A few standard questions. Any hearing trouble?"

"No."

"Sound fading in and out?"

"No."

"Pain?"

"No."

"Any unusual symptoms?"

"Other than no memory from a hammer, no."

"Well, let me take one last look and you can be on your way."

One thorough examination and thirty minutes later they were on their way back to his townhouse. "I wonder if anybody knew about it."

"I don't know, Gil. If you didn't want anybody to know you were extremely careful." She looked over at him and smiled briefly before putting her eyes back on the road. "You're very resourceful when you need to be."

He smiled, and then frowned as he closed his eyes and a brief flash of what felt like a memory took hold.

XXXXXXXXxxx

**_"Hey, you have a minute?"_**

**_He looked up at her, taking off his reading glasses after looking at a card on his rolodex. _**

**_DR KAREN ROTH_**

**_"I was just leaving." _**

**_"Yeah, the schedule says you're off tonight." She replied, leaning against the door frame._**

**_"I am."_**

**_"Me too."_**

**_"You should be on paid leave."_**

**_"I'm fine."_**

**_He looked at her, putting books into his bag. "You were fortunate, and I'm not talking about the explosion." _**

**_"You talked to Brass…" She sighed._**

**_"And Nick."_**

**_"We got the guy."_**

**_"Is that all you've got to say?"_**

**_"Would you like to have dinner with me?"_**

**_He stood perplexed for a moment, and then looked at her drawing the word out slowly. "No…"_**

**_"Why not? Let's have dinner, see where this goes."_**

**_He sighed and tried to collect himself, his heart beating out of his chest. "Sara…I don't know what to do about this." He gestures between them._**

**_"I do." Pause. "You know, by the time you figure it out, it really could be too late."_**

**_With those words she walked away and left him standing there dazed and confused._**

XXXXXxxxxxxxx

"Gil?"

"Huh, what?" He looked at Sara and sighed. "I'm sorry, I just felt like…never mind."

"What's the matter?"

"I-I don't know. I don't want to talk about it right now…I promise I'll share it with you later."

"Alright, let's go inside."

XXXXXXXXxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

She'd been watching Gil since they had arrived and had dinner, he'd seemed unsettled about something, like something was picking the back of his mind. She wanted to let him sort it out on his own because he promised he'd share it with her later, but she was getting restless at his silence.

"Gil, sweetheart, are you alright?"

He turned to her and sighed. "I'm not sure. I-I think I had my first flashback today. And quite frankly I'm angry with myself at how I treated you."

"I'm sorry?"

"No, I'm the one who should be sorry Sara. I understand my reasons to some extent, but my hearing wasn't something I should've kept from you…and I should've never rejected your proposal for dinner." He rubbed his temples. "I wish that…I don't know."

"It's okay, Gil. It's okay." She climbed onto his lap and kissed him gently. "You were going through something that you didn't know how to cope with, you're a one thing at a time type of person and you just didn't know what to do."

"It's like I was living it, I was seeing it through my own eyes, Sara. Honey, it was as if I couldn't live without the sound of your voice…" He held back his sob as best as he could. "I…"

"Shhh…there's nothing more you need to say." She placed her fingers to his lips. "Let's go to bed."

He nodded and followed her to what had become their room.


	14. Chapter 14

_Disclaimer: I do not own CSI..._

XXXxxxxxxxxxxx

Chapter 14

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The two month mark had come and went and he decided to take some of his vacation days and use them by taking another month off work. It didn't sit well with Ecklie, but he had just told him that he wanted more time to see if he could remember anything else. Sara had taken a leave as well, saying that she owed it to herself, and also upon his request.

Looking in the mirror at himself, he sighed and stroked the beard he'd allowed himself to grow over the past month and thought about shaving it because of the way it itched. Sara'd told him not to and it had resulted on her wearing scarves on several occasions to work because of the beard burn he'd caused.

Sighing, he laid down in bed once more and pulled Sara's body close to his and snuggled close to her warmth falling into a fitful sleep.

XXXXXxxxxxxxx

**_They were sitting in the stands above an ice rink, he was occasionally glancing at her while reading the case files in front of him._**

**_"Two minutes for elbowing, four minutes for high sticking, and ten minutes for unsportsmanlike conduct."_**

**_"Boys will be boys."_**

**_"Sounds like these boys went to a fight and a hockey game broke out."_**

**_"You just don't like sports."_**

**_"That's not true I've been a base ball fan my whole life."_**

**_"Base ball? That makes sense, all those stats."_**

**_"It's a beautiful game."_**

**_She chuckled. "Since when are you interested in beauty?"_**

**_"Since I met you."_**

**_She sat there stunned staring at him as he rattled off where they were going to take position to gather evidence. _**

XXXXXXxxxxxxxxx

**_"Norman pushed…" He snaps a picture of the dummy in front of him then walks to the next. _**

**_"Norman jumped…" He snaps another picture._**

**_"Norman fell…" He begins to snap another picture…_**

**_"Wouldn't you if you were married to Mrs. Rooper?" _**

**_"I don't even have to turn around, Sara Sidle."_**

**_"It's me…"_**

XXXXxxxxxxxxxx

Gil woke with a start, wiping sweat from his brow and looking down at Sara's sleeping form. It was starting to come back to him, in bits and pieces, it was starting to come back. His job, his life, and Sara…

XXXXxxxxxxx

**_"Dr. Grissom…"_**

**_"Yes Miss Sidle?"_**

**_"I was wondering…" She paused._**

**_"What's the matter? Questions?"_**

**_"A lot of questions." She blushed and smiled that gap tooth smile. _**

**_"Let's go get some coffee." _**

XXXXXXXXXXxxxxxxxxxx

Sara sighed and rolled over reaching for her bed partner to find him mysteriously absent. Running a hand through her disheveled hair, she grabbed the robe she'd brought from her apartment and walked towards the kitchen finding him in one of the chairs at the dining room table with his head in his hands.

"Gil?"

"I'm sorry honey, did I wake you?" He turned to face her.

"Well turning over to find the bed cold and your personal heater gone will do that." She smirked and walked over to him. "What's troubling you?"

"My memory."


	15. Chapter 15

_I hope this calms the suspense for some of my readers, within the next few chapters this story will hold a strong M rating. Thanks for your kind words and I hope that you enjoy this next installment until I get up to at least 25 written. _

_WolvGambit_

_Disclaimer: I do not own CSI_

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Chapter 15

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It was what she wanted and feared at the same time. He'd been regaining his memory in bits and pieces. The distance wasn't big, however, it was small…the conversation the other day felt so pointless as she sat in her apartment clutching a pillow to her chest. She wasn't going to cry, it wouldn't mean anything if she did.

XXXXXXXXXxxxxx

**"My memory, Sara…it's coming back in bits and pieces. My job, my work, my life, how we met…my God I don't know where to begin and what to do." He looked at her helplessly. "This is what you were afraid of wasn't it?"**

**"Gil." She placed a hand on his shoulder and he shrugged it off.**

**"I need time."**

**"Gil."**

**"Sara, please. I'm not distancing myself from you, I promise. I just need to think. I mean, please understand that I haven't had my memory for almost three months and it's just overwhelming. I…"**

**"I understand, you need space."**

**He grasped her hands in his and looked at her. "I love you, please believe that." **

**"I do…Call me."**

**They shared a brief kiss as she made her way to the door. "The world outside is a mirror,  
reflecting the good & bad joy & sorrow laughter & tears within me...Some people are difficult mirrors to look into, but you...I look at you and I see all the beauty inside of me. – Peter McWilliams." He whispered in her ear as he led her out. "I'll call you I promise."**

XXXXXXXxxxxxxx

A single tear trailed down her cheek as she listened to the radio…

Her phone rang a little while later waking her from her doze. Rubbing her tired eyes she checked the caller ID and immediately took the call.

"Sara, I need you."

"I'm on my way."


	16. Chapter 16

_Some quotes in this chapter have actual episode context..._

_Disclaimer: I do not own CSI..._

_Raiting change to come next chapter, view discretion is advised._

XXxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Chapter 16

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He'd spent the whole day clutching his head at the migraine he'd succumbed to. Memories flashing left and right in front of his eyes making it hard to come to grips. Finding out his secrets, where he kept certain items, where his old journal was, the letters he'd written to Sara, pictures of him and the team, and how Catherine had been there for his surgery and how much he'd wanted to tell Sara about it. It was true, that at that very moment in time he didn't know what to do about it, now he did…he knew exactly what to do.

XXXXXxxxxxx

**"Hello I'd like to get some flowers for a girl…no wait not flowers a plant a living plant, she loves vegetation…"**

**X X**

**"Hey Grissom can you come tape me up?"**

**X X**

**"I just want to say that I've had a wonderful time…"**

**"The same goes for me, Sara. I…" He sighed and looked into her eyes. **

**"What? We both agreed that there would be no hard feelings." She smiled. "We both have lives, Gris. I'm not going to tell you to stop yours." **

**"But…"**

**"We'll see each other again. In the mean time we can keep in touch, talk to each other on the phone." She looked at him and placed a hand on his cheek. "I'm not asking for you to give up what you've rightly worked for." **

**He pulled her hand to his lips and gave it a quick kiss. "Alas, parting is such sweet sorrow." **

**"William Shakespeare. And he was right." She chuckled softly. "I'll be seeing you." **

**They shared a kiss as his flight was called. "I'll call you when I land."**

**"I'll be waiting.**

XXXXXXXxxxxxxxxxxxx

He picked up his phone and called her, he'd done enough thinking, now he needed to make it right.

"Sara, I need you."

"I'm on my way." She answered quickly and then hung up.

XXXXXXXxxxxxxxx

Not more than twenty minutes later he heard the door open and close as he rushed towards her pinning her against it and smashing his lips to hers pulling her legs to wrap around his waist as her arms held strong around his neck. "I'm so sorry, Sara…" He whispered between kisses.

"Gil, it's okay…slow…down…" She gasped for breath as he continued his assault on her mouth and neck. "Gil…"

He pressed his forehead to hers. "I remember everything...every single damn thing. " Gil moved his head to her shoulder and took a deep breath. "I'm sorry."

"It's in the past." She stroked the top of his head.

"I can see now why you…"

"Shhh….look at me."

He did so immediately.

"Do you love me?"

"As sure as the sun rises and sets, as sure as the stars shine…I love you with every breath I take."

A tear trailed down her cheek as she slowly connected his lips with hers.


	17. Chapter 17

_Some quotes in this chapter have actual episode context..._

_Disclaimer: I do not own CSI..._

_This story is now rated M, viewer discretion is advised._

XXXXXXXxxxxxxx

Chapter 17

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They had moved from the door to the couch, him on top of her, their kisses growing more heated and deeper. He groaned into her mouth as she rocked against him. It felt so deliciously wonderful that he couldn't stop; he was so hard that it was painful. Tongues danced, fingers explored, and bodies gyrated to the passion and heat that existed between them.

Finally he was able to manage some semblance of control and pull away from her tantalizing lips and exploring fingers to catch his breath. Gil pressed his forehead to hers and took deep cleansing breaths. "Sara…"

"Please…"

"I want…" He tired as she pulled him in for another kiss.

"Sara…"

"I know what you want." She ground against him insistently and he groaned pressing into her.

"Sara…I want to…do this the right way."

She paused, only briefly to look him in the eyes. "I swear if you stop right now…"

"Don't look at me like that…"

"Like what?" Sara smiled innocently.

"Maybe I want to treat you properly…take you out to dinner." He kissed her chastely and then looked into her eyes. "Read you poetry by candle light."

"You don't have to."

"Maybe I want to make up for all the times I tossed what we have aside."

"Really…you don't have…" He cut her off with another kiss and a full press of his erection into her heat.

"I want to make our time together special, Sara. I want to make love to you the right way…not some hurried affair to satisfy our urges…sex without love is pointless…it makes you sad." (1)

"Ohhhh…" She gurgled as he pressed against her again.

"However, I know how frustrated you are and I'll permit you a little bit of relief." He continued to grind ever so quickly to her continuing moans…

XXXXXXXXxxxxxxxxx

They'd went out the following day to get some proper attire. She smiled as she watched Gil come up behind her in a tux with the bow tie undone while she was in a very elegant pale blue satin gown. The gown was strapless and hugged her figure in all the right places. There was fringe at the end where it stopped just below the knee and a slit up the right side…the shoes were about the same color, medium high heeled…but just enough to make her legs seem longer.

"You look like a goddess…" He breathed in her ear.

"And you look very handsome." She turned to face him…he was dressed in a rich black tux with a blood red silk shirt…"You're bow is undone."

"I can never tie them right."

"Mmm…" She stepped forward and expertly tied his tie while kissing his lips…"All done."

"You're a woman of many talents."

"This is nothing, just wait till tonight."

He smiled as they both made their way to their respective dressing rooms and then to have their purchases bagged and out the door.

XXXXXXxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

"Sara, you look so wondrously beautiful. The epitome of my every desire, first I fell in love with your mind. Always inquisitive, always cautious, and always challenging me. Then I fell in love with your smile, your eyes, and your heart." He sighed softly as he knelt in front of her after they had ordered their meals.

"Gil…"

"Let me finish." He raised an eyebrow as she settled back into her seat. "I realize that you are everything I've ever wanted and needed in a woman. You're everything I've ever wished and dreamed of. Sara Sidle…" He pulled a box out of his coat and opened it. "Would you bless me with the honor of your presence each and every day for the rest of my life? Will you marry me?"

She looked at Gil with wide tearful eyes and an expression of complete and total awe as she placed a hand over her mouth unable to speak. The ring was simple white gold with a sequential set of small diamonds set all the way around making it glisten with another set of stones on the very top arranged to look like a butterfly in blue and purple. Again she looked from him to the ring and back finally finding her voice.

"Come here…" She whispered hoarsely, running her fingers through the hair on the back of his scalp that had finally grown in around the small scar. Sara brought his lips to his that started out as slow soulful kisses the sweet and slick blending of lips that slowly turn into deep and soulful wet smacks…

Several shouts of 'get a room' later they parted for air as he slipped the band on her finger. The rest of dinner was spent with passing glances, hand holding, and when dessert arrived, a lot of teasing.

"Sara…" He warned for the second time as he dipped his fork into the chocolate brownie that looked like a centerpiece for the table instead of an edible dessert. She had slid her foot up the inside of his thigh and it was getting closer and closer to his crotch.

"I can't help it…" She purred as her foot found its destination followed by his low moan and slow thrust of his erection into her stroking toes. "Is that your car keys or are you happy to see me?"

"Last time I checked my dear, I didn't have that 'big' of a key ring." He grunted. "And if you don't stop that, this night will be short lived."

She raised an eyebrow. "Can't have that can we." Smirking Sara tried to remove her foot only to have her ankle incased by his hand and her foot pressed back to his groin. He groaned at the relieving pressure.

After eating over half of the dessert, he paid the bill in cash, grabbed Sara's hand, and they made their way to his vehicle for the drive home.

XXXXXXXXXxxxxxxxxxxxx

**_(1) Sex without love is pointless, it makes you sad. (Gil Grissom (Will Peterson) Season 7 episode Ending Happy.)_**


	18. Chapter 18

_Disclaimer: I do not own CSI_

XXXXXXXXXXxxxxxxx

Chapter 18

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"God Sara please, if you want us to make it home in one piece you'll stop doing tthhaaaaattttt! Ohhhhh!" He almost screamed as she rubbed him through his pants bucking his hips into her palm.

"I've been waiting for six years to be with you." She purred in his ear adding more pressure to his groin.

"Sara…" He warned as he almost swerved into a silver minivan. "God…"

When she started licking his ear lobe he grasped her wrist tightly in one hand as they approached the stop light. "Sara if you do not stop this we are not going to make it home. We're going to be wrapped around a pole somewhere and I'd hate to explain how we got into that position."

Sara pouted and relented as the light turned green easing her head on his shoulder and rubbing his suit-pants clad thigh.

XXXXXXxxxxxxxx

"Sara…sweetheart…slow…down." He stated between kisses as she had him pressed up against the door while he was trying to find the keys.

Finally the door opened and he lifted her into his arms across the threshold, shutting the door with his foot. His lips captured hers in a sweet, slow kiss as he settled her on the couch. Breaking contact for a brief moment he loosened his tie and took off his coat before settling back upon her continuing the slow deep kisses he had initiated. His fingertips graced her skin softly and delicately. Smoothing over as if she were the finest most fragile object on the face of the earth. Her fingers were winding in his hair, curling the strands between her finger tips and rubbing his scalp delicately. Her tongue tangled with his in a slow and sensuous dance that had her brain turn to mush and her limbs to JELLO.

After a few more moments he broke the kiss and connected his eyes with hers. "Tell me your desires…"

"You know what I want…"

"Tell me what you've dreamed of, Sara." He whispered. "What do you fantasize about?"

Her fingers trailed down the front of his silk shirt, the tips circling around each of the buttons before sliding them through their housings, one by one, exposing his chest to her gaze. He brought his lips to hers once more and yet again their tongues tangled…her legs on either side of his hips as he knelt in front of her. His fingers gently wrapped in her hair massaging her scalp then sliding down around her back running down her spine.

Gil gasped for breath as their lips parted, her hands smoothing over the planes of his chest and lower then around his back her nails digging into his shoulders as he started suckling at the pulse point on her neck. She pressed his face towards her neck and clutched the hair…

"Harder…"

"I'll leave a mark, Sara." He panted into her neck.

"I don't care damnit! Please…" She moaned as the suction increased and he bit the skin gently laving it over with his tongue. "Yes…oh yes…"

He released her long enough to let his shirt whisper off his shoulders to the floor where he picked it up and tossed it to the chair across from them. Her exploration had turned from his lips to his neck biting and licking as he gasped for air, his lungs burning.

"Oh Sara…oh honey…oh…" He groaned as she increased pressure and rocked against him.

Soon it was becoming too much and he wanted to continue their activities elsewhere, that and his knees were aching in the position he was in. He disentangled himself from her tempting body and lifted himself, albeit unsteadily, to his feet pulling her with him.

"Come my dear…let's take this elsewhere."


	19. Chapter 19

_Disclaimer: I do not own CSI..._

_AN: And now...bum bum bum, your smut...Viewer DIscretion is Advised, 18 and up please!_

XXXXXXxxxxxxxxxxx

Chapter 19

XXXXXXxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

They stumbled into the bedroom and he stood behind her, unzipping the dress and pulling it gently over her head. Grabbing a hanger, he placed it neatly on it and hung it up in his closet. Turing back to face her, he grasped his chest at the sight that stood before him; Sara Sidle in pale blue lace panties, no bra, and her flesh gently illuminated by the moonlight coming in from the window. She was a goddess of feminine beauty and he found himself unworthy and wondering why she would choose him.

"For the first time in my life…" He whispered as he enveloped her in his arms. "…I find myself truly without words when it comes to describing your beauty."

Gil picked her up in his arms and gently laid her on the bed shedding his slacks and folding them neatly and placing them on the dresser in the far corner of the room.

Him down to his boxers and her to her panties, he advanced on her slowly starting with her long legs and working his way upward. He gently grasped her foot, massaging the instep gently up to her toes and then back down to her heel, he repeated the process with the other and then moved up the right leg, then the left leg, alternating until he reached her panty covered heat. Looking into her eyes, he spread her legs gently to lie between them pressing his arousal directly on top of her center and they both groaned on contact.

"I feel as though I'm seeing things differently, honey." He sighed, closing his eyes. "Looking back I've always loved you and you've carried a piece of my heart with you no matter where you go. It's a part I gave to you when we first met, and I'd give it to you again in the blink of an eye. I just hate that I had to lose all of my memories to see what's been in front of me all along."

Sara placed the palm of her hand against his, now clean shaven, cheek. "Enough…just make love to me."

"Whatever you desire."

He trailed wet open mouthed kisses down her neck and towards her chest. Her breasts were average sized and fit in his palms, the rose pink nipples were erect buds and he tested what would make her squirm as he rolled them with his thumbs, slightly added pressure with thumb and forefinger…then he moved to the right breast first, lightly rolling his tongue around the tight flesh before enclosing his mouth and suckling gently. Her fingers automatically found themselves entangled in his hair, breathily she asked him to increase the suction, which he complied nipping very lightly with his teeth as he came up and then repeated the process with the other breast.

Placing a kiss in the center of her chest he then trailed kisses down wards, following a straight line, pausing at her navel to dip his tongue inside which he received a light airy giggle for before he reached the top of her panties. He palmed her gently, feeling the moisture that had soaked through and he groaned at the scorching heat she emitted. Trying to gain some semblance of control, he gently grinded his erection into the mattress his neck muscles cording with the effort. Her scent was thick, heady, and strong. Gil hooked his thumbs on either side and pulled her panties down and off, tossing them to the side and looking down at the soft dark curls that covered her femininity.

Spreading her wide, he pressed a kiss to the top of her curls right on the pubic bone inspiring a gasp and her fingers to, yet again, tangle in his slightly graying curls.

"Gil please…"

"What do you want?"

"Oh please…"

He dipped his head and took one long slow lick from entrance to the underside of her clit, tickling the tiny little bud with the tip of his tongue as she rocked her hips in time with his movements. This continued for several minutes until she was pulling on his hair almost pulling it out.

"I need you…in me…now."

With those words he shed his boxers and tossed them aside. Settling back into the cradle of her thighs he pressed his erection into her and groaned at the slickness, rocking backwards and forth coating both the top and the bottom…the engorged head flicking her clit on each stroke.

Gil pressed his body close to hers as he entered her gently, she panted in his ear trying to roll her hips into his as he just laid there on top of her.

"Slow sweetheart, I want to savor this with you…"

"Gil…"

Finally he moved slowly, in and out, savoring the heat and slickness of her walls and the pressure as she clamped down on him at each entering stroke. He held her tightly as her nails dug into his shoulders, she groaned his name over and over…he resisted picking up the pace. Resisted as long as he could.

She felt him start to roll his hips more quickly, the wet sounds of their joined bodies echoing in the quiet room, the sweat matting his curls to his forehead as she ran her fingers through them. He'd placed his hands in hers beside her head as he continued to pump into her gently, but with increased vigor…pings of pleasure radiated every where and she was quickly getting closer and closer to that peak.

"Oh yess…..oh…yess…"

"So hot…so slick….so tight…Sara…yes…"

His resolve finally broke he started to pump into her in earnest, feeling her clutch his hands tightly as her cry of ecstasy brought him to his release. Groaning he continued a slow rhythm until he softened inside her. His arms shaking, his chest heaving, he tried to roll off her to the side but she brought him down on top of her, her fingers tracing lazy patterns on his back.

"That…was so wonderful." She panted in his ear. "I've never felt anything like that…as cheesy as that sounds."

He lifted his head to look at her. "Appropriate words for an appropriate moment, cheesy as they may be." He replaced his head to the crook of her neck. "I hope you don't plan to sleep like this. I'm sure after a while you won't be able to breathe."

"I'm fine, Gil. I like this…"

"So do I, but I don't want to crush you." He flipped them over so that she was lying on top of him as he pulled the sheets over them both. After a few more minutes, they finally succumbed to sleep.


	20. Chapter 20

_Disclaimer: I do not own CSI..._

_A short quick update while you wait...promice they'll be more...WG_

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Chapter 20

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The first rays of sunshine came through the small opening in his tan curtains as he finally woke from the most restful sleep he'd had since ever. Hoping that the moments from these past few months weren't a dream he opened his eyes to see Sara on top of him, her dark rich hair spread out along his chest and he could feel himself hardening slowly inside her as he recalled the night before so vividly. He moaned silently to himself trying to hold back his reaction, but in his current position it was practically impossible.

Gil smoothed back her hair and breathed in deeply the heady aroma of their combined musk and sighed. It was as perfect as he'd imagined it to be. Almost too good to be true, however, the second time they had awakened during the night he wished he would've been able to last longer.

Rolling her under him, he quickly extracted himself from her heat, albeit reluctantly, and made his way to the bathroom to relieve himself. As much as he wanted to stay in that position, his nagging bladder would not allow him to simply enjoy the comforts of the morning after. Placing a hand on the wall, he took care of business, flushed, and then turned to the shower.

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She suddenly felt cold as she came to full wakefulness, feeling around the bed for Gil and in a moment of panic she'd actually thought she'd dreamed it all until she heard the shower in the next room. Humming softly, she went into the bathroom to see him behind the textured glass wall of his shower. Sliding back the frame she stepped in behind him, luxuriating in the hot steam that billowed into her face.

"Sorry honey, did I wake you?"

"In a good way…" She chuckled and kissed him deeply. "A really good way, however it would've been better to awaken with you like we fell asleep last night."

"Well, the call of nature pulled me away."

"Mmmhmm" Her rumbling went through his chest as she leaned against him content. "I…"

He lifted her head up to connect her eyes with his. "What?"

Shaking her head she looked down feeling the stray pelts of water that bounced off his shoulders coat her hair. "Sometimes I feel like I'm dreaming and when I wake up I'll be in my bed alone."

Gil sighed and clutched her closer. "From this moment on until the end of time itself, we'll never be alone again. Neither of us."

"Promise me…"

"Forever."

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Sometime later they were curled together in the sheets once more laying face to face hand in hand and basking in the afterglow of their most recent bout of lovemaking.

"Did you ever watch the movie Bicentennial Man?"

Sara quirked a brow at his query. "A long time ago, it's been a while."

"I think the way that Robin William's character described 'making love' was exactly the description I'd use." He sighed and kissed her fingertips.

"Do tell, I don't quite remember."

"That you can loose yourself everything all boundaries all time. That two bodies can become so mixed up that you don't know who's who or what's what…and just when the sweet confusion is so intense you think you're going to die, you kind of do. Leaving you alone in your separate body and the one you love is still there. That's the miracle you can go to heaven and come back alive. You can go back any time you want with the one you love." (1)

"I believe he was right."

After those words their lips combined and they tested that theory once more.

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(1) - Robin Williams quote Bicentennial Man


	21. Chapter 21

_Disclaimer: I do not own CSI..._

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Chapter 21

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When he came back to the lab it felt like he'd never left, except for the pile of paperwork on his desk. Sara insisted that he stay home a little while longer, but he decided against it. He got there earlier than usual to do the one thing he was sure he wanted to do and luck was on his side as he saw Catherine walk down the hall with her nose buried in a file.

"Catherine, may I speak to you for a moment."

He watched as she jumped and almost nailed her head into the ceiling, gasping her chest and then looking at him with a stunned expression, anger, then turned into an all out grin.

"Gil! I thought you weren't coming in until next week…this is a surprise. How's the head?" She asked while giving him a brief hug.

"I'm much better, Catherine. Thank you." He smiled. "There is a favor I'd like to ask of you."

"If this is about the paperwork, forget it." Her expression grim.

"No, no. This is a more private matter." He looked towards both sides of the hallway before pulling her into his office. "I want to know if you'll take over Sara's reviews for me."

"Why?"

He rubbed his nose where his glasses usually rested. "We're going to be getting married within the next few months. Right now it stands that we're in a relationship and it wouldn't look good for either of us considering that I'm her supervisor and she's my subordinate. Hell, I really don't care about appearances right now, but for the sake of argument and to avoid a mess in the long run I figured I'd cut the pass. I'd still be her supervisor, but no one can accuse me of favoritism or anything else even if she is my wife."

"I see." Catherine smiled brightly. "I'd be happy to do it." She turned to walk out and then turned back to face him. "And Gil…"

"Yes?"

"It's about damn time."

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They'd all filed in on time and they'd all filed out on time as he walked towards his vehicle, case in hand. Him and Nick were about to go to a DB in the dessert along with Brass. Plenty of bugs…whoopee.

"It's good to have you back." Nick smiled as he got into the passenger seat.

"It's good to be back, Nick. In all definitions of the word." He turned the key in the ignition.

"Memory?"

"Check." Gil smirked as he put the vehicle in reverse, backing up and then putting it into drive as they made their way out of the parking lot.

"Good to know."

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Several knee creeks, plastic containers, rubber gloves, plastic bags, and two cups of coffee later Nick and Grissom finally arrived back at the lab depositing evidence and heading for the break room. Grissom for a snack, and Nick for his third cup of coffee. As he pulled the case file closer to him, nibbling on the end of his glasses, he started to take notes when he heard a familiar chuckle in the hall coming his way. An involuntary smile made its way across his lips before he could stop it, and he masked it by flipping through the file like he had some ideas.

"I think I've heard enough, Greg."

"Sara…."

"Enough with the poking."

When they entered the break room, Sara immediately went to the coffee pot while Greg sat across from him opening his own file. They all had their pleasantries, small talk, and then they broke and made their separate ways. Grissom to the layout room to look at some of the fibers he collected while Nick made his way to the morgue.

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Nick looked at Doc rather perplexed at his last statement and couldn't help the 'excuse me?' that leaked from his open mouth.

"She had rabies. But that's not what killed her." He proceeded to turn her head to the side to show a wound on the back of her skull. "She was shot, execution style, at point blank range. There's even some burning."

"Ah…" Nick scratched his head. "So you think someone got it in their sick twisted brain that it's a mercy killing?"

"Well, maybe, maybe not. There are ligature marks on her wrists and ankles. Thin suggesting fishing twine." Al pushed up his glasses.

"This case just got weirder."

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Finally unable to put the paperwork off any longer he sat down, put on his glasses, and began to sort through the increasingly frustrating amount of ins and outs. About twenty or so filed budget reports later, there was a knock at the door and his nightmare on two legs walked in.

"Gil."

"Conrad."

He took his seat in front of his desk and crossed his left leg over his right. "So, you've regained your memory and I see you're still the same old Grissom."

"When it comes to paperwork, yes I am." He grumped. "What brings you here?"

"Oh, the usual. There's a meeting that we just had to postpone on the budget this upcoming month because of your absence." He sighed then mumbled under his breath. "Not like you came to them anyway."

"Ah…the monthly salary meeting." He shrugged, looking down and signing some more papers. "I'll have the figures written up when I can unbury my desk."

"Also, while you were out, there has been dramatic changes going on. We're going to be splitting up your shift."

"Excuse me?" His face contorted into a very nasty expression. "You listen to me and you listen good. I don't care what you do to any other shift, but if you as much as move one of my CSI's to desk duty on weekends only, I'll be out the front door faster than you can quote Shakespeare's 'To be or not to be'…do I make myself absolutely clear?"

For the first time since Grissom had been promoted to nightshift supervisor, Ecklie actually carried a worried and astounded expression. At that moment, Gil felt extremely smug. "Crystal, but don't expect there to be anything good going into your department."

"Don't worry, I _won't _ever be asking you any favors." He turned back to his paperwork. "Will that be all? As you can see I've got a ton of work that will not move itself from my desk."

"No, I'm done here. Just make sure that you get those figures to the meeting by Friday."

"Done."

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Gil arrived back at the townhouse before Sara and felt extremely bored. Rummaging through the refrigerator, he pulled out some eggs and various vegetables and began to work on breakfast. It was interesting how he was adopting so many of Sara's habits into his every day routines. Especially a lot of her vegetarian food choices. Sure he still enjoyed the occasional hamburger and bacon and sausage from the diner, but he felt like he had a lot more energy after eating foods more accustomed to his diet.

About thirty minutes later, just as he was finishing up breakfast, the woman of his dreams walked in the front door and started walking towards him. "Gil."

"Kitchen, sweetheart."

"How was your night, I didn't get to see you very much." She asked in a yawn as she kissed his cheek.

"Paperwork, and the dreaded meeting from Ecklie." He chuckled. "I'd rather deal with the former than the latter."

"I don't blame you; I'd take the paper cuts over the mindless drivel any day." Smiling she plucked a piece of celery from his hand and started crunching it. "The decomp we had was terrible."

"I know, there are lemons in the sink ready for you and when you're ready I'll drawl you a bath."

"You're too good to me." Sara sighed kissing him longingly.

"I feel that I've got a lot of making up to do." He smiled softly. "Go ahead and I'll finish up our meal."


	22. Chapter 22

_Disclaimer: I do not own CSI..._

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Chapter 22

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"I heard that Ecklie was going to split us up." She looked at him as they sat across from each other at the table.

"Yes, he was. However, I told him that if he did I'd leave." He responded finding his toast interesting.

"All you've worked for."

"Sara, my job isn't the most important thing in the world. I'm learning that it's the people that help get you there. I wouldn't be where I am today if it wasn't for each and every one of them. Our lab, our team isn't complete without them. I wouldn't have it any other way."

"Who are you and what have you done with Gil Grissom."

He chuckled. "It's amazing how therapeutic a hammer to the skull can be, or how cleansing."

She stared at him for a minute perplexed then stared down at her practically empty plate. "I…"

"Sorry, bad joke."

"I could've lost you that night."

"If it wasn't for you, I wouldn't be here." Gil smiled and took their plates to the sink to soak. "Why don't you get ready for bed, we've got a day off and we both need to get some sleep."

"Alright bugman."

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She laid there curled up to his side as he was browsing through his new Forensics Monthly and then he broke the silence.

"You know, we haven't had much time to talk about when we want the wedding." He placed the journal on his lap face down to hold his page.

"In about a month, when summer breaks."

"Big or small?"

"Not too big, I mean…I really have no one to invite except for the guys."

"I know my mother would want to come."

"I'd love to meet you're mom." She smiled that Sara smile.

"She'd adore you." He shared her smile, placing the journal on the night stand with his glasses on top of it.

"You want a church wedding or a justice of the peace?"

"Whatever makes you happy my dear will make me happy."

"But what do you want?" She moved closer to him. "It's not just about me, you know."

"I just want a small service with our dear friends and, of course, my mother. Whatever else you decide will be fine." He kissed her then rolled on top of her.

"Mmm, I like the way you think."

Sara brought his lips to hers as they shared a very deep and passionate kiss…

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Sara walked by Nick in the hall as he was continuing on his way from the main lab almost knocking her over. "Woah there cowboy where's the fire?"

"Sorry, Sara. I've got something interesting to tell Grissom. Is he still in his office?"

She shook her head. "No he went to the DNA lab."

"Thanks…" He smiled backtracking towards Grissom's current location.

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Gil was standing next to Hodges looking over the latest work as Nick walked in telling him about the strange information that Doc Robins had given him.

"Yeah, I know I got the read out just now and I popped by Al's earlier."

Nick snapped his fingers. "And here I wanted it to be a surprise."

"Hmm…" Gil sighed. "So we've got a woman with rabies with a gunshot wound to the back of the skull. I had Al do some scrapings under the nails, she fought, scratched the guy up so now I'm going to have this DNA ran through CODIS to see if we can get a hit."

"I'll go look at the rest of the crime scene photos and see if anything else jumps out."

"Right."

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Sighing, he pressed his fingers to the bridge of his nose and rubbed out the tension. They'd finished with the case, catching the man, and now he was up for trial in two weeks, open and shut case. After a few moments, he adjusted his glasses and looked at the file in front of him, going over the details of the case in his head as he wrote down the final notes and included a copy of the confession from the interrogation.

_"Is that why you killed her?"_

_"Man, look I told you before what I knew." He fidgeted under Grissom's scrutiny. _

_"Then explain to me how come your finger prints were on the gun barrel of the gun that we found, and a bullet of the same caliber was found in the gun matching the one that we found in her skull?"_

_Grissom threw the pictures down on the table in front of the man and he finally broke down. _

_"She was suffering, in pain…she didn't know what was wrong, she begged me to do it. She was religious you know? She wanted to be buried at the church, but suicide's a sin…"_

Gil stapled the final pieces together and signed off on the report, closed the folder, and put it in his out box.


	23. Chapter 23

_Disclaimer: I do not own CSI..._

_A/N: After this there is one chapter left and then I shall start on the sequel. I hope you guys have enjoyed the ride as much as I have and hopefully you'll enjoy the sequel as much as you've enjoyed this fic. Peace...WG_

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Chapter 23

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Gil sighed for the fifth time as he leaned back in the oversized tub, soaping Sara's hair gently and massaging her scalp. He felt the tension in his body ease slightly when she placed her hand on his thigh and squeeze.

"What's wrong?" He heard her ask quietly.

"I'm not sure, Sara. I guess I'm just tired, it's been a long day." Grabbing the shower nozzle he easily rinsed her hair and then shut it off. "All that paperwork, I'm surprised I was able to make it out on time."

She nodded and leaned back against him. "Migraine?"

"Feels like one." She turned over in his arms and reached for his shampoo.

"Relax and let me take care of you."

He leaned back as she started to massage the soap into his scalp, lightly scraping every now and then with just the right pressure. Every now and then he'd give a groan or a sigh to let her know which spots she was hitting just right.

"Alright lean forward so I can rinse." She directed while grabbing the cool whip tub that they used for rinsing behind the showerhead. A couple of tubs of water later and he was soap free as she pulled the plug on the drain. "Feel better?"

"Much, you always know how to relax me honey." He kissed her deeply. "So, any more arrangements for the wedding or when it should be?"

"In two weeks, Friday."

"What happened to next month?" He cocked an eyebrow.

"I don't want to wait any longer, and make sure you can get your mother out here by then, I'd love to meet her."

"As I'm sure that she'd love to meet you, two weeks it is then."

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"Gil! Damnit, I wish you would've woke me up when you got up I'm so totally late! You knew I had court this morning and you did it on purpose!"

"Sara, I most certainly did not." He shouted from the kitchen, barely hiding his grin. "Besides, you told me at four not to wake you…you were tired and so was I."

"Well guess whose fault that was."

"What? You asked me repeatedly to and I couldn't tell you no. I can't deny you what you want."

"Gilbert Arthur Grissom!"

He just chuckled as he poured her a cup of coffee and loaded it with sugar exactly how she liked it as he watched her rush out into the kitchen from the back hallway from their bedroom.

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He was tacking up his insects to the board in his office when he heard the front door open then shut and keys clatter to the end table next to the door. "Gil?"

"In the office sweetheart!"

She smiled and thought to herself, of course he'd be there on his day off…

Walking to the refrigerator she pulled out a bottle of water and settled on having an apple for a snack as she padded her way towards the bedroom to kick off her shoes before heading into his office. She watched him for a few minutes as he was leaned over his tack board in those impossibly tight, worn, and faded blue jeans with that pressed sweat shirt. It was so nice to see him in casual dress and his bare feet that she had to smile and try to keep her crunching to a minimum.

"I know you're there so you might as well come on in." He turned to her and peered over his silver rimmed glasses. "Beautiful outfit my dear."

"Thank you." She smirked as she stepped towards him. "Have you ate anything yet?"

"No, I was waiting on you before I started dinner." And just in that exact moment his stomach let out a howl. "And of course my stomach disagrees with me."

She held out her apple and he grasped her arm by the wrist taking a bite out of the fruit she offered and chewed silently, as she stood watching his strong jaw go to work as a small trail of juice traveled down his lip to the cleft in his chin. Stepping forward she placed the tip of her tongue between the cleft, watching as his eyes went wide, as she traced the wet path with her tongue that the juice had trailed straight up to his mouth parting his lips as they both groaned.

"Remembering the movie we watched last week?"

"Yes, but I would never break your teeth."

"Good to know." He smiled taking another bite. "And I know a nice side dish that would taste good with that apple."

"Really?"

"Mmmhmm." He groaned as he palmed her between her legs, feeling her heat through the dress slacks she wore. "That will definitely be on the dessert list."

"Gilbert…"

"Patience…"

"Is not for me." She grunted walking towards his tack board, apple in hand. "So, what are you pinning up tonight?"

"Just a few things to note in my new section; I was asked to write a couple page entry in a new entomology text book due out this coming year."

"Did I ever tell you how sexy your brain is?"

"And here I thought you loved me for my body."

"Well there is that too." She tapped her chin thoughtfully. "I think I loved both at the same time."

"Mmm, that's good to know." He kissed her again. "So what do you want for dinner?"


	24. Chapter 24

A/N: 'Sigh' I know that I promised a sequel to this story, but the time for that has passed and I decided to just rewrite the last chapter. I know that it is rushed and I tried not to do that, but I just have no time to write a sequel, nor the inspiration anymore. So this will just have to do. I figured if I went to long without a sequel that the ship would already sail. I figure it's been a very long time since I finished the original draft of this chapter and the sequel would be started and almost completed. But sadly, no it has not. I only managed to get to chapter 2 in that and it just wasn't working out according to plan. So please enjoy the NEW final chapter of Taking the Hit and this story is OFFICIALLY completed now and there will be no sequel.

Sorry for this and thanks for your patience,  
WG

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Chapter 24

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The arrangements for the wedding were relatively simple. Gil was able to get into contact with his mother and she flew out that week. They both greeted her in the airport and she was very happy that her only son was finally getting married and happy with his life.

The invitations slowly poured out as it got closer and closer to the date in question. Sara felt she was making mad dashes every where from getting their cake made to finally buying a dress. Catherine helped her finally come to a decision of what she actually wanted and she was very grateful for the help.

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Grissom sat in the dressing room with Jim beside him, his tux making him uncomfortable and his whole body shook with the anticipation.

"Gil you're going to be fine."

"I know, for the first time in my life, I know. It's just it wouldn't be normal if I wasn't just a bit nervous." He sighed. "She's an amazing woman."

"Yes she is, don't screw it up." He made a gun motion at him. "Or I'll give you a scar to match mine."

"I won't do anything intentionally, you know that."

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"Sara." Catherine sighed as she straightened out her dress. "Gil isn't going to back out of this, if there is one thing I know he's serious about questions like these."

"It's not that, it's just that this is such a big occasion and I have no family to share it with."

"We're your family, Sara." She placed a hand on her shoulder. "We're here to share it with you."

"I know, and that I'll never forget. I just wish that things would've been a bit different."

"Yeah, good luck."

"Thanks." She gave a watery smile and hugged her.

"Go get'em tiger."

They laughed together.

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As the music swelled and they exited the church, things couldn't have been better, it was time to make a new life, live it to the fullest, and enjoy each moment.

-END


End file.
